ALL ABOUT LOVE 3 ~ Shidoo Tarkaa
- Post By Shidoo Tarkaa 4:56pm on Tuesday 12th June 2018
ASSURANCE PART TWO - MEN...Last time we explored assurance part one talking to the women, now let's talk to the men.
Most relationships may seem like taking a risk, because most times, it involves trusting someone you are just getting to know with your heart. So men, do your women need assurance? The answer is YES! Before you go crucifying me, let me explain.
I am not really talking about N45m Porsche car or extravagant gifts but if you can afford it, why not. But it is those little things you do every day to show her she has an assurance in the relationship that truly matters.
A sense of security is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. That sense of security really boils down to the firmly held belief that in good times and in bad, your partner is going to have your back and isn’t going anywhere.
When you believe this you feel free to be yourself, to let your hair down, to let go the painful anxiety produced from the threat of rupture constantly hanging over your head. You can relax, be playful, take more risks, and show your soft emotional underbelly. Do all the things that tend to increase intimacy in relationships.
When people start wondering when the other shoe is going to drop their behavior changes in ways small and big as a result, and it’s usually this changed behavior that their partners use as final justification for actually leaving the relationship.
But if you think your relationship has the slightest chance of making it, if you still believe there’s something there and that it’s worth fighting for, then one of your primary goals has got to be to make your partner feel secure in the relationship so that conditions can be fostered where you get to see and interact with the best in your partner rather than the worst, where you get to interact with his fun-loving, carefree side rather than the anxiety-ridden, suspicious side. We all have those two sides to us, and its environmental conditions just as much as our own intentions that that pull them out of us.
Try as much as possible to let your woman know at all times that you are for her, you are on her side; it is assurance enough. The fastest way to drive her into the arms of another man is when she has to always guess where she stands with you.
Written by Shidoo Tarkaa
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